There’s More To Me Than One Label Holds
For all the ‘purists’ who believe “chromosomes are everything” and “sex at birth is all”…
“If your crazy-ass theory of the world doesn’t ease the suffering of people whom you do not understand, maybe what you actually need is a new theory.”
— Jenny Boylan
The Whole Trans Thing
I personally reject the idea that the sex assigned at birth determines all of my identity, drawing a hard boundary around the gender role and presentation I am permitted, and forcing me to remain in one little box of gender identity.
I am aware of the potentialities of biology and biochemistry, and understand the path this body has taken from conception onward, resulting in a person who has transcended the boundaries that this culture draws around gender identity, presentation, and role. My awareness demands that I reject the ideologies that declare assigned sex at birth to be all, or even the primary determinant as to which cultural boundaries I must remain within.
I recognize that there are those whose ideology demands that they deny the validity of my experience, and who demand that I remain within the bounds set by assigned sex at birth.
I also recognize that there are those who accept part of my path and my experience, but for whom my origin and experience are insufficiently pure, ideologically unacceptable in summation, to be worthy of their chosen labels.
These various interacting ideologies and prejudgements make social interactions a bit of a minefield. Living in a culture that insists on a gender binary, and only accepts a narrow set of paths through life can lead to someone like me being rejected or viewed as undesirable by some others. While I personally do push hard for acceptance and recognition that people like me are human and valid, I don’t do this to deliberately others cause discomfort in others. I wouldn’t be comfortable pushing into a crowd that rejects my right to exist as myself.
I would, for example, no more demand entry to a “womyn-born-womyn” event than I would try to attend a Klu Klux Klan rally, for similar reasons. I’d be encountering people whose ideology denies the validity of my existence, and who would not be swayed by my presence.
I do have to be mindful that not all such groups label themselves clearly, and am careful to reach out to organizers in advance to make sure my attendance won’t cause difficulties. I’ve run into situations where a group might tolerate me, but other individuals there are uncomfortable with my presence. I generally will drop such groups, rather than have my presence cause issues.
This is an area that lies outside the experience of the typical white upper-middle-class cisgender woman, but is a part of my life. I am somewhat social and extroverted, and can’t really live my life closeted to avoid causing discomfort to some others.
There’s More To Me Than One Label Holds
That one word, “transgender”, is merely a descriptive adjective. In my case, it very roughly describes how I arrived at my current place in life with respect to gender. Other than that, it’s pretty much irrelevant.
That one label says almost nothing about my skills, my knowledge, or my lifetime of experiences. It doesn’t indicate anything about my carpentry skills. It certainly doesn’t indicate my skill as a technical instructor, an engineer, or cook. It doesn’t even indicate which power tools I’m proficient with!
Honestly, being a transgender person is almost irrelevant to my daily life. I get up, have my morning coffee(s) with my wife, work out, fix a late breakfast, and start in on the day’s projects. These projects might include:
- Finish carpentry on the garage attic I’m turning into a workroom
- Starting some bread
- Grocery shopping
- Preparing notes for a class I’m teaching
- Recording a training video
- Participating in assorted meetings and discussions, mostly online these days
- Doing a bit of research or writing
Later I may be preparing dinner for the household, doing a bit of cleaning or mending on the side, and eventually enjoying a nice meal with my wife and her sister. These are just human activities, the normal elements of my life that occupy my time.
Oh, they don’t occupy all of my time. There are cats to be played with, and of course my dear wife to attend to. We are not islands, after all!
My point is that I am a human being. I am not a political phenomenon, or an ideology to be debated. I can’t be easily defined out of existence.
The right to identify our own existence lies at the heart of one’s humanity. And so, we must heed their voices: ‘the woman that I am,’ ‘the man that I am.’
— US District Judge Carmen Consuelo Cerezo. (From a court order overturning the categorical ban on corrections to the gender marker in birth certificates. )
Finally, a cautionary note: Should you be prone to committing acts of assumption, know that your cultural stereotypes do not interest me, and if you make the mistake of assuming that I fit some stereotype, know that at some point I will happily, joyfully shock you.
Retired software engineer, holder of 19 patents, former nuclear engineering trainer and tech instructor, FCC license examiner and trainer, with experience in finish carpentry and baking. I also have cats…
No comments:
Post a Comment