Me and We; National Coming Out Day
Call to Worship for the October 11, 2020 service at Mt. Diablo Unitarian Universalist Church
When we as individuals make choices, we each tend to consider what might be best for ourselves. This is normal and natural, a way we act to keep ourselves safe. Something I ask that we consider, though, is how our choices impact others who share our interconnected web of life.
Today we are faced with the consequences of choices made years ago. As the President said last week; “Elections have consequences.” Now, years ago, each of us may have been considering our tax situation, our own desires, or perhaps our frustration with The System when we cast our votes. Those votes have had consequences, however, that have a much broader impact than ourselves.
These consequences are having a profound effect on me, my partner, and many others in my community.
Today is National Coming Out Day, a day established by LGBTQ activists in order to maintain positivity and celebrate coming out. Most people think they don't know anyone gay, lesbian, bi, queer, or trans, and in fact, everybody does. It is imperative that we come out, let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.
There are a few things each person considering coming out really needs to be aware of:
- You may lose friends and family.
- You’re going to be OK; You are not always going to feel OK, but you’re going to be OK.
- If you want to make it, you’re going to have to learn to ask for help.
- It’s worth it!
When coming out as a transgender person, there are a few additional things to know:
- A gender transition may be too much to bear even for liberal family members.
- Should you try hormone replacement therapy… It’s like being a teenager all over again, both good and bad!
- Your sexuality may shift.
I’d like to disclose that I am a woman who is attracted to other women, and just last week I was honored to be married to Laurie, my life partner, in a ceremony held right here at Mt Diablo Unitarian Universalist Church, officiated by our own lead minister.
I am also a woman of transgender experience, forced to live part of my life pretending to be a man to try to avoid the abuse this culture heaps on anyone failing to meet narrow social standards.
Now, y’all know at least one LGBTQ person.
The consequences of the individual choices made by others have a profound impact on me. In a 4 page opinion issued October 5, two Supreme Court justices referred to the Obergefell v. Hodges decision that allowed Laurie and I to be married; “The court has created a problem that only it can fix.” They explicitly want to invalidate my marriage and are awaiting the appointment of a new justice who shares their opinion, an appointment made and to be approved by elected officials in our government.
Elections have consequences, indeed.
As military veterans, Laurie and I were were happy to learn that on June 30, 2016, Secretary Carter and the Obama administration approved a policy rescinding the decades-old ban on transgender persons serving in the military, after a study found no real reason, no real impact on readiness for maintaining the old ban.
We were dismayed when the current elected Commander in Chief revoked our ability to serve with a midnight tweet.
Elections have consequences, indeed.
The Department of Housing and Urban Development, in a new ruling driven by elected officials, allows homeless shelters to assign individuals to housing based on their sex as assigned at birth. If I am in a community where shelters operate under this rule, I would be assigned to a mens shelter. I feel that I would rather sleep rough, on the street, than be placed at risk of violent abuse again.
Elections have consequences, indeed.
When we as individuals make choices, I ask that each of us consider not only our own wishes, but the impact of our choices on:
- The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
- Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
- Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
Let us consider this further today, as we worship together.
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